Sunday, June 7, 2009

Transportation of Love -- Part Two

Part One

"how's the project going?" asked the soft rubber toy.

"not very well," he said, squeezing it for comfort. "just seems like no one is really motivated." he squeezed it again, soothingly. well, it was soothing for him, at least.

the soft rubber toy loosened itself from his grip and made its way to the fridge. "well, maybe you're being too forceful, you know?"

"what on earth are you talking about, woman?" he said.

"i really wish you would stop assigning gender to me," replied the soft rubber toy, making its way back to his hands. it was sipping on a banana daiquiri. "i'm not some cheap floozy, you know."

"i know, i know. that's what i like best about you."

"yes," said the toy. "but really, i think you need to rethink your approach."

he took a sip that the toy offered him. the daiquiri was cool and refreshing. he relaxed a little more. "my approach? you really think so?"

"yes. you know, sometimes your personality can be a little overwhelming. people need space to breathe."

"but, they're just gnomes!" he protested.

"doesn't make a difference. plus, all that smiting ... it can be very demoralizing."

he squeezed the soft rubber toy again, thinking.


"but smiting is what i do," he pleaded. "i am, therefore i smite..."

"it's very uncreative," said the soft rubber toy.

this made his eyes bulge. "uncreative?" he got off his seat and started pacing. "uncreative? but - but - i am the creatOR! i create! nothing i do can ever be called 'uncreative'..."

"i understand," said the soft rubber toy, nodding. "what has happened is, your wiring has just got a little muddled. the green wire, which should normally deliver to the -"

"wiring?" he said, cutting the toy off. he peered at it, his entire body rigid. "i told you, i'm not a gnome."

"yes, but-"

"i don't have 'wiring'". he lifted a finger, in an arc pointed at the soft rubber toy.

"see! you're doing it again! just smiting away whenever you hear something you don't like!"

his demeanor didn't change. "as i said, there is no wiring..."

"well, there's no wiring in me either!"

"oh?" he said, paused.

"after all, i'm just a soft rubber toy! only sponges!"

he lowered his hand. "well," he said. "i'll concede to that. and maybe, 'metaphorically', my wiring could-"

"yes! yes! 'metaphorically' your wiring could have gotten a little muddled!" squealed the rubber toy.

"yes," he said. "'metaphorically' muddled. i can handle that. 'metaphorically'."

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