Friday, December 30, 2011

Steps, Parts 1, 2 and Threee

Party 1

"Why granny dies?" said the baby.

"Step-granny, sweetie," said Haylie, "she's not your real grandmother. She's just a step granny."

Sweetie was confused. "Ms. Elaine said that it's grandma if she is your mommy's mommy," he told her. "Or daddy's mommy," he added, after some consideration.

"Oh, Aaron," she said, picking him up to her lap and hugging him. She had named him after her father, who had passed on just five months before he was born. "Well, you got it right there, clever little guy." Aaron smiled happily at being called clever by his mommy. "But in this case, it's just a little bit different."

"Why?" said the child.

"Well," she said, holding him close to her, "you see, your granny -- I mean, step-granny -- she was not really my mommy. Not mommy's real mommy."

This revelation confounded him. "Then how did you come out?"

"Come out?"

"Into the world?" he demanded.

She stroked his soft brown hair, not at first sure how she could -- or if she should -- explain it to him. "Well," she said, "it's a very long story, sweetie."

Aaron laid his head back upon her. This was him 'settling in', as she liked to think of it. "I got a lot of time," he said, turning his face into her breast, and he closed his eyes so that she could begin the story.


It was a long time ago. I was only a very little girl, a child like you, when Alice -- your step-granny -- came to live with us. Everything changed when she came. It wasn't the same any more as before. I remember, daddy -- your grandaddy Aaron -- he changed too, from then on. It was so long ago, but I still remember that he changed then. He wasn't like before any more. Nothing was the same after Alice came to stay with us.

You see, before that, I was the light of my daddy's life. I still remember, as soon as he came home, he'd take me, pick me up, and sit down and talk to me. Even on the days when he was really tired, he'd never forget to collect me and have our daily talk.

Party 2

He always wore brown, you know? At least that's what I remember. There was all this...grime...on his suit, and I always liked to touch it -- touch the grime -- because I knew he would then playfully slap my fingers away and then find a tissue, or a wipe or something, and clean them carefully. He'd say that I had to be careful, and that there are loads of bad germs in this world that want to infect me. He always said I have to be careful with myself, and always notice all the things that are present around me. But he would say it with such wonder to me, such happiness. If you ever looked into his eyes, you would know that you were absolutely loved.

And we would talk. That was always important to him, for us. Strange thing is, I guess I must have been the one doing all the talking, because I remember so very little, so little of what he said. I don't even remember what he worked as, you know, what he did for a living. But he always wanted to know everything I'd done during the day. Maybe the reason I remember so little is that the most important things to me, at that time, were all his questions. I remember his questions. Maybe they're not the exact questions he asked, but I remember their shapes, and what they felt like.

They were questions about me. About how I was doing in the world. And you could tell they were important, just by his voice when he asked them. He wanted to know what was going on in my mind, what I was up to all those hours when he had to go away to work. I remember, at first I had not really understood how important these things were to him. But towards the end, I knew. I knew how important the routine was to both him, and me. How it bonded us, father and daughter. Later, when I was around ten or eleven, I realized it was how he made sure I would eat. That was his 'trick' to get me to eat the food he was giving me. He'd play with me and joke with me, coddle me, and then gently slip the spoon in. And it would always taste grand.

There was only one time I ever saw him look sad, and it was, if I remember correctly, just a short while before Alice came to live with us. He'd asked what I'd learned about today, and when I told him I knew about doctors, he teared up. He kissed me and told me that he was going to do everything possible to make my dreams come true. And I noticed the spoon that day, in his hand, trembled a little, and when I asked him, he just said he'll take care of it, and tucked me a little promptly into bed.

Party 3

"Check inside the drawers of your boss's files," he typed. "You will find something amazing there."

"I can't do something that violating," she typed back, "that would just be wrong." She did a double-take, and noticed a small infraction in the user interface window element. It made her take a deep breath. "Wait," she said, "who are you?"

"Your baby," he typed back.

She rolled her eyes, and sat back in the chair. "Lol", she typed, "for a minute there, I thought you were, actually, my baby! Fool."

"Looks like you forgot your nanny-cam," he typed back at her.

"No," she typed furiously.

"Not that hard to switch to it," he typed, teasing. "Flick of the mouse."

It was the slowest millennia recorded. Last time this much effort was taken to switch to nanny-cam was when Vesuvius decided to romp Pompeii. But...she made this shift in perspective.

There he was, a baby, typing away.

"Hi," he wrote.

"I never gave you a computer!" she screamed.

"Check the files in your boss's work area. There is information there about you."

For about five minutes, she just stared at the nanny-cam, wondering how the hell he was managing to communicate without any official computer system at his disposal.

And he was doing it in his nappies!

Thursday, December 29, 2011

If it hasn't happened yet, *what* have they been raping all these years?

"Hehehehehehehe" rose the voice from the marshy bog.

He burned it with fire, and then watched. Two blue butterflies settled on the marble.

He slowly approached, sneaking, thinking that by sneaking, he may be able to access the butterfly's inner fear.

"What kind of person catches a blue butterfly, and then grinds it?" said the butterfly.

He gently took off the blue butterfly's headset and put the remainder near the alchemy lab.

The wings began to try and taunt him. "Don't you think we, too, deserve life?" they said. "Don't you think that, perhaps, even us may have fallen in love with a girl, from Bulgaria?"

He carefully joined the wings with the blue mountain flower, and suddenly lost health. Ah, he mused. This is the potion of Don't Restore Health!

"Don't let Bulgarians win!" said the voice.

He took a long puff. "None of this has anything to do with me," he said.

"It's hot," said the voice in the flames. "We're hot!"

He switched them off, and then focused on what was more important to him. *Poking, coaxing and shaving* Ronald D. Moore to make either a new Star Trek, or a new episode of Galactica.

"Once you do that," he typed, "you will be golden."

Saturday, December 24, 2011

After Causing All Your Havoc and Mistreatment of The Way Turnstiles in Subways are Turned....

the best technique is to turn into a sort of Dickensian lad,
and provide charming yet slide-through responses whenever questioned
by any Men or Women of Authority.

It allows for a level of flexibility ranging from Scrooge,
to the Ring (yes, Ringu), to the Artful Dodger, all played by
a damn fine actor as you.

In fact, you are so fucking flexible, and can reach such a high closet drawer
*before the appropriate time to open everything*
that I may as well just squash all my hopes of surprising you, shouldn't I?
Not just on Christmas morning, but ever.

"Why do you sound like your mum?"

No, I don't. I don't sound like her.

(for some reason, my writing is still in Halloween mode)

A Final Tread, to Under the Bed

Scaring grown-ups for a living
becomes wishy-washy;
all they wish is you'd wash
once in a while.

Been a murderer that appears
from under a couple's bed with a curved blade,
been a man-boy set on revenge after drowning
due to teenagers, in a crystalline lake.

I've taken on the role of a roll
in the loo, who when pulled along enough
reads "Someone's out to do bad things you".
(In blood. That was hard, acting as toilet paper with bloody scrawling).

Was a spinning top at the end of a movie.
It made folks argue on their way out, sure
but that was the limit of the malice.
So I had to get more obscure...

Such obscurity, however, leads to very thin presence.
Couldn't even get my craft burned for heat by peasants.
"What am I, a famine?" I'd try to shove it their mouths,
they just went ahead and died, leaving me veritably South.

Sunday, December 18, 2011


Cutest thangs in the world
sunflower spread, like juice.
Juice, juice!

Small area of shelter is devastated
by simply walking *into* Brooklyn.
I know, now, that I am not going to be

I'm going to be very uncool
and happy, and with a toad
as my companion.

I speak to the toad
riding in the storm
into this holidaze

Let your children pay.

Sunday, December 11, 2011


(02:31:47 AM) Whiterun: winterholder? is a bolder, loader.. And it calls to the
(02:32:20 AM) runningveindeep: Winterhold is one of the areas you can explore in Skyrim, a game.
(02:32:36 AM) Whiterun: yeah, beacuse i play games
(02:36:15 AM) runningveindeep: What are your thoughts on sushi
(02:36:25 AM) Whiterun: it's cold usually
(02:36:27 AM) Whiterun: what is up with that
(02:36:44 AM) runningveindeep: yeah, well, you can't have warm sushi
(02:36:48 AM) runningveindeep: that's just not on
(02:37:00 AM) runningveindeep: it's cold because it's being kept fresh
(02:38:08 AM) Whiterun: yeah, but is it really fresh
(02:38:25 AM) Whiterun: i mean half of it is rice, which doesn't seem to go bad no matter what you do to it.
(02:38:32 AM) runningveindeep: It's tasty
(02:38:58 AM) Whiterun: if I ran 100 miles straight and then burried me in rice.. the rice would still be good
(02:39:02 AM) Whiterun: just have to rinse it off
(02:39:15 AM) runningveindeep: haha. yes. rice.
(02:39:27 AM) runningveindeep: but rice has different qualities
(02:39:46 AM) runningveindeep: There's basmati rice, and indian staple
(02:39:51 AM) runningveindeep: and = an
(02:40:13 AM) runningveindeep: There's glutinous, sort of sticky rice, which usually comes with chinese food
(02:40:49 AM) runningveindeep: Rice with beans, from Hispanic cultuires
(02:41:13 AM) runningveindeep: Chicken soup with rice is available at most diners
(02:41:19 AM) runningveindeep: in America
(02:41:57 AM) runningveindeep: Is Rice > Bread?
(02:42:48 AM) Whiterun: i like panera bread soup
(02:43:09 AM) runningveindeep: never eaten at panera. but i do like olive garden
(02:43:32 AM) runningveindeep: i like the fettucinni with beef medallions
(02:43:39 AM) runningveindeep: and spinach (i think)
(02:44:05 AM) runningveindeep: None of these are probably really Italian, though
(02:45:29 AM) runningveindeep: What's the special thing about Panera?
(02:47:05 AM) runningveindeep: I'm liking the look of their creamy sonoma chicken stew
(02:47:07 AM) Whiterun: they are most likely northern italian or something like that
(02:47:11 AM) Whiterun: panera is cheap
(02:47:14 AM) Whiterun: sandwiches & soup
(02:47:15 AM) Whiterun: very good
(02:47:30 AM) runningveindeep: You'll have to treat me one day.
(02:47:59 AM) runningveindeep: You still coming to NYC for Arrested Development viewing?
(02:48:16 AM) Whiterun: the movie? isn't that like 3 years away
(02:48:50 AM) runningveindeep: I had no idea. I knew it was out there. What are they waiting for? The kids to grow up?
(02:49:05 AM) Whiterun: can't grow up
(02:49:09 AM) Whiterun: i'm stuck in 1987
(02:49:20 AM) Whiterun: if i leave the world may implode
(02:49:36 AM) runningveindeep: *That* is creepy
(02:49:44 AM) Whiterun: i know righ
(02:49:49 AM) Whiterun: horrible it is
(02:49:56 AM) Whiterun: every day i wake up listening to reagan
(02:50:02 AM) runningveindeep: Why 1987?
(02:50:13 AM) runningveindeep: I can't remember much from that year
(02:50:32 AM) runningveindeep: I was probably still in grade/primary 2
(02:50:39 AM) runningveindeep: or three
(02:51:39 AM) Whiterun: lol
(02:51:43 AM) Whiterun: i was like 5 or 6
(02:52:11 AM) runningveindeep: You were probably sitting there, wanting to go to school with me
(02:52:21 AM) runningveindeep: ;)
(02:52:34 AM) Whiterun: lol
(02:52:48 AM) runningveindeep: I should seriously change my profession
(02:53:04 AM) runningveindeep: And be a kindergarten teacher
(02:53:30 AM) Whiterun: do u enjoy chilrdren?
(02:53:34 AM) Whiterun: i worry u would torment them
(02:54:33 AM) runningveindeep: Ha ha. 'Enjoy Children'? What kind of question is that. You know all I want to do is toast them.
(02:54:43 AM) runningveindeep: And eat them with my soup.
(02:54:47 AM) runningveindeep: Creamy soup.
(02:55:04 AM) Whiterun: creamy soup?
(02:55:23 AM) runningveindeep: Yes, it should be creamy.
(02:56:07 AM) runningveindeep: (Can you tell I'm waiting for Once Upon a Time to do Hansel and Gretel?)
(02:56:26 AM) Whiterun: no, but that doesn't mean u shouldn't be waiting
(02:56:44 AM) Whiterun: i personally was waiting for them to do something w/ some cool story lines
(02:56:45 AM) runningveindeep: You saying I should write these stories myself?
(02:57:07 AM) Whiterun: are u a writer
(02:57:25 AM) runningveindeep: Wouldn't that be a sort of cool viral campaign, if Once Upon a Time let people submit the stories
(02:57:34 AM) runningveindeep: It could be even bigger than LOST
(02:58:07 AM) runningveindeep: They could have rules and mechanisms such that only quality submissions are incorporated into the larger body

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Bring Me Dinner!

(02:09:35 AM) Winterhold: bring me dinner?
(02:10:13 AM) runningveindeep: You just accidentally sent me a message intended for your lap dance girl
(02:10:52 AM) Winterhold: lol i wish i had one
(02:11:09 AM) runningveindeep: Please use the buttons on the phone to appropriate the message to its destination
(02:11:31 AM) runningveindeep: Have you ever played Phone Titities?
(02:11:54 AM) runningveindeep: Phone Titties is the next big app out there
(02:12:17 AM) Winterhold: how does it work
(02:12:23 AM) runningveindeep: You can pretend to touch the breasts of any person you are speaking to
(02:12:34 AM) runningveindeep: And they feel it, through vibrations
(02:12:57 AM) runningveindeep: Except the few girls who claim they actually have no interest in their boobs
(02:13:06 AM) runningveindeep: You can't have everything
(02:13:08 AM) Winterhold: i love boobs
(02:13:16 AM) runningveindeep: You a boob man?
(02:13:32 AM) Winterhold: i'm more a hip man
(02:13:44 AM) runningveindeep: Hips, yes.
(02:13:51 AM) runningveindeep: I enjoy legs
(02:13:51 AM) Winterhold: i love the shape of a woman
(02:14:05 AM) runningveindeep: Shape
(02:14:13 AM) Winterhold: ShaPe
(02:14:25 AM) runningveindeep: they're virtually perfect sculptures
(02:14:48 AM) runningveindeep: But of course not objects
(02:14:53 AM) runningveindeep: or adjectives
(02:14:59 AM) Winterhold: sculptures that u can touch ;)
(02:15:17 AM) Winterhold: don't u wish they were objects that you could pick out at a store
(02:15:22 AM) runningveindeep: Oh I don't know about that. I've been asked many times not to touch some sculptures
(02:15:29 AM) Winterhold: more like a blockbuster
(02:15:46 AM) runningveindeep: I wish they were squeezable objects
(02:15:52 AM) runningveindeep: That go 'poof'
(02:16:02 AM) runningveindeep: when you squeeze them a little
(02:16:15 AM) runningveindeep: well, not Poof. But probably 'parp'.
(02:16:18 AM) Winterhold: i wish they were like i dream of geanie
(02:16:37 AM) Winterhold: rub em and they get all happy
(02:16:38 AM) runningveindeep: Djinns, yes lets talk of those
(02:17:06 AM) Winterhold: u watch pulling yet
(02:17:14 AM) runningveindeep: Pulling
(02:17:21 AM) Winterhold: yes, pulling
(02:17:22 AM) runningveindeep: There's a show called pulling?
(02:17:27 AM) Winterhold: fantastic isn't it
(02:17:33 AM) runningveindeep: Ok, I'm going to check it out. Hold on.
(02:17:50 AM) Winterhold: holding on
(02:18:54 AM) runningveindeep: This sounds like Sex in The City, except in Brighton, UK
(02:19:24 AM) runningveindeep: Or maybe that show about housewives that I can't remember the name of right now.
(02:20:12 AM) runningveindeep: Have you seen any American Horror Stories?
(02:20:38 AM) runningveindeep: They do a funny intro that almost looks like Se7en.
(02:21:00 AM) runningveindeep: But there is some good stuff there.
(02:21:04 AM) Winterhold: it's reminescent of sex in the city but much more tolerable for men
(02:21:12 AM) Winterhold: don't watch american horror stories
(02:21:30 AM) runningveindeep: So you're saying this show Pulling can be watched by men?
(02:21:58 AM) runningveindeep: Who are they pulling?
(02:22:03 AM) runningveindeep: A leg?
(02:23:02 AM) runningveindeep: You're putting your name behind it?
(02:23:16 AM) runningveindeep: This is going to affect your cred
(02:23:26 AM) Winterhold: yes, by men
(02:23:38 AM) Winterhold: i will pull my name behind it lol
(02:24:12 AM) runningveindeep: Alright, Winterhold