Thursday, February 16, 2017

There's no adversity. I want only nice, clean people to come in.

I don't want there to be a mess.
1-way, or 2-way; Children, you will have to learn
how to Switch.

Yes, we have a Nintendo in the White House.
The concept is: "We don't really care"
Irfan, you're hogging, yes, don't hog.

Please don't hog.

Remember Mario Kart,

Yes, remember battle mode.
Okay, I'm back. Children:

"Use the Nintendo Switch joycons and sort yourselves out."


Thank you for touching Melania, Ben of Israel, and I will also touch Sarah now, who is also, of Israel.

They represent my commitment to America, and her ... 

"Look, just milk the damn cows, ok?"

... and her, um, her constituents.

Okay. Everything is safe. Everything is safe and clean.

#TheLegendOfDonald, Breath of the ...[Unknown]

America is a system where the President! is important

So I managed to make the President the one who thinks the same as me.
I know there's other people out there too, congress, judge, and all
but they're also all the same now. It's lined up, we all agree, now.
I made the whole of America same as me, and now

I just don't know why this is happening. We don't know.
People disagreeing. People not accepting. The Snowflakes.


We gave them, these disagree-ers  8 whole years, and now, I'm almost 10
so why. Why, with a question mark this time (why?).

Why not agree with me. Question mark.

Saturday, February 11, 2017

There is no Trump, it is receding...

there is no trump, it is receding
a distant ship in the horizon.

the relevance of that animal is no longer important:
what I want you to accomplish is to love the people out there
who, yes, who would rather vote for racism and hate,
simply because their lives are fucked, I don't know

I have no idea what I would say to them, if I met them.

"You're not long-term sustainable" maybe.


Relax, I need some revelation, first.
When I was a child I have a fever,
my heads broke like two balloons
now I (my people, the humans I represent) have the fever once again!

Friday, November 18, 2016

Early taunts about a Blackadder 5, written in my prison cel. Or is it cell?

"Blackadder, what would you think of a Season Five?"
"Sorry, I thought that the peoples has spoke."
"There's new terror for Muslims, m'lord. You'd be the spear poking their bottoms."
"You peed in the Queen's garden, recently, didn't you, Baldrick?"
"This is naughty news, sire. Escape your mind from such worry, and focus on the Plan:
    The Plan:
        The Plan: Is this Python? Does indentation mean anything?
"And that's your Blackadder 2016, is it? Baldrick? Is that your story, and dialogue?

It's not even Python, or any snakes!" 


Friday, September 16, 2016

Sometimes I Wake Up and I'm Only A Leg

Then there are the nights when I wake up at 3am and I'm just a leg. I am my leg, but just the leg, and nothing else.

"But what does that even mean? Just a leg? Is there a thigh? A knee? A lower leg? Any hips?"

No hips.

"Why is it always so dark with you?"

I'm a leg. I don't come with eyes.

"Well, one time, I--"

Yeah, no. I don't want to hear that.


Nobody spoke for at least nine million years. Then someone asked:

How is it coming along?

"Still researching inverse kinematics, why don't you sit down and relax a little, Anxious? Make use of that fine pulmonary system you have flowing there."



It's just. Just you'll never know that I am only a pair of lungs. Floating in mid-air.

Also, nobody knew that inside human legs, there is a very secret and very long middle finger.

Saturday, September 3, 2016

There is Absolutely No Reason to Feel Bad

I know it is a bold statement. And I am in high horses.
I can't fix everything for you, but know that when you hurt
I receive the tear (as in paper) in my eardrums.

I recognize that things aren't so optimal with you.
You sing these songs when things aren't great,
these beautiful things in my presence, sending

my brain scattering.

I think the best of life, in all its permutations.
Think. Actively. Not just contemplate but manifest
thought to light, and sound, inscription
There is absolutely No Reason to Feel bad

The cynics among you are already ganging up on me,
because your flesh is heating up due to this being Pompeii
in your imagination. (If you are reading this you're aren't in Pompeii)
brains just scattering all over the place

everyone must register and affirm existence.

seance end ;)

Thursday, August 4, 2016

My Vision Is Star Stuff

I apologize in advance for all the spelling and grammatical errors. It was a long post, written fairly quickly.

I promise I'm not stealing this from J.M. Straczynski (learn, small children, learn: ( *Even before* yesterday's devastating post (, I was walking around, feeling a little bit like I might fall off at any time. This has been occurring for a couple of weeks now.
It's like, a strange weakness in the legs. Legs are fine, body is fine, but brain is worried about HP on the legs.

Unlike JMS, I I think I may have found my solution, though. See, I already knew that it was a kind of vision problem. A doctor had already warned me that in latter years, my vision could become an issue. Except, JMS is almost 90 (how else could he have been there when I was a child?), and I'm, like, barely 38.

The doctor (an ophthalmologist), had mentioned that I should start wearing sunglasses now, to prevent future disaster. She recommended some of the sunglasses available nearby. They were even in the same store.

Being wise for my age, I declined. "I haven't worn sunglasses since I was a teenager," I told her. "Not only do I lose sunglasses so easily to the point where they become pointless, but it was then that I realized I did not need such accoutrement in order to look cool.

I'm too cool to wear sunglasses," I said to this woman. Would it have made a difference if the ophthalmologist was a man? No. It's just that I'm too cool.

"You've become old," she replied. "Not as cool anymore. Trust me, wear them."

Today I was feeling the worst of not listening to advice. It *is* a vision problem. My brain *is* getting fucked by the sunlight due to my fucked up eyes. Then I came up with a solution.

I began walking around like the worst possible asshole in the universe. Seriously, I was walking around pretending I was Larry David. I began to imagine I was Larry David, walking around with round ass sunglasses. Now, if you saw me, you'd never see the resemblance. I mean--I have an ex-girlfriend who kind of looked like Larry David when she put on her sunglasses. But me? Nah. Totally not Larry David.

But I was. I was a total cynic at the entire world around me. I watched and observed everything:

"Why do we need 10 more Indian people on the street, these days? Does my presence not sufficiently cover the entire spectrum?"

"Is this what they call legs in New York, these days?"

"Do we really need more construction? What the fuck are these people installing? Some decent Internet for a change?

Seriously, why don't you take your fucking shitty big little drill and fuck off, unless you are installing real infrastructure."

"Who the fuck needs the Chelsea Hotel to be that shitty red?"

"The Sun is shit too. Better get the Hayden Planetarium et al. to update their program to reflect reality."

I was doing a quip per foot. And just like that I was okay. I was totally fine. I didn't feel like I was going to fall down.

"My legs don't need HP when they have full MP!"

It wasn't intense. It wasn't going to give me a heart attack. It was easy. It was always so easy to be a cynical little shit, that I had left it off when I was a teenager.

"I don't need fucking sunglasses. Because I can just *imagine* them", I laughed, later, at my eyes. I think they're still worried, though. "Forget watching the Cursed Child in the theater next year, fellas," I like to tease them, "we're going to be watching Braille". "Inspector Morse Code".

My eyes are like, "Please, please, please tell this motherfucker he's not a teenager anymore."