Wednesday, December 16, 2009

ze Chocolate is zo Jocholaty Funny

Hello Andrea, thank you for the email. As a tip, one of the things you have to do in the "gift industry", so to speak, is that you have to be aware that you are in the business of helping customers with their relationships. A relationship is something that might exist at one point, but later it might not. Getting 'follow-up' emails from people in the gift industry after the whole thing has collapsed is not a pleasant experience. It could potentially open up old wounds. This is not how your boss wants to sell the chocolates.

One of the reasons I chose to solicit your company's service is that you deliver to Romania. I recognize, and realize that these aren't the limitations of your services, and perhaps one time in the future, I will use the service to entertain another chocolate requirement :)

As a compensation for being soul-less, I leave you with a piece I wrote some time ago about the soul.

"Dude yoo can't fuck with that guy. He does stunts with his fucking *soul*," said a Kris Kristofferson lookalike.

"He'll end up like Evel," worried his nerd buddy. "Washed out and toothless in a Home for people without teefs."

The performer climbed up the tower. On the way, everybody loved him, passing flowers and chocolates and he progressed. "Wot," would say a girl, "they only gave you Roses? Check out this custom-made confection I ordered from France, just for you."

Then he was finally up there. How had all of this become a monster truck event? Where did it go wrong? He sat on the chair, and a crane slowly lowered a laptop onto the desk.

As the computer, booting, calculated RAM, his life flashed before his eyes. Then the network came online, thanks to citywide wifi.

The crowd roared.

final draft @ trooli: -fr0
Original Message:

On Mon, 07 Dec 2009 20:00 +0100, "Andrea from zChocolat" ( wrote:
I noticed that you have not used our services for quite some time. I hope that you were not disappointed with our products or services in any ways. Please let me know if it is the case.
Why not give a try to our new chocolate collection before the holidays and treat yourself to a gourmet experience unlike any you've ever had. I invite you to indulge in our new collection, and discover for yourself the new recipes that world champion chocolatier Pascal Caffet and zChocolat have dreamt up. I would also be happy to help you find the perfect gift, so please don't hesitate to repond to this e-mail if I can be of any help whatsoever or answer any questions you may have. I hope to hear from you soon! Of course, feel free to click here if you no longer wish to be contacted via email.
I wish you a sweet and happy holiday season.
Andrea Booth
Customer Service

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