Sunday, October 18, 2009

The Baby Explains About Ears

Somebody had been shot in an interracial war outside their house. She knew that it was something about who has a better videogame or something, but she did not know the exact detail. I mean, I'm sure the kid that was shot, and the kid who had actually gone all the way and shot that kid who got shot knew about it, but she didn't know -- shit, it's hard enough being a single mother in the projects. Let alone a single mother of six children.

The sixth one began to cry. She entered the code so thirteen-year-old Janis could go onto the internet, and then she gave 11-year-old Charlie some money to go buy some firecrackers. "There is a reason that those things are banned," she told him. "I'm giving you this money in the hope -- the pure hope -- that you won't misuse it."

When all was said and done, she finally attended to the baby in the middle of the living room. She put a blanket over its body, as it had requested, and then added those nitrous oxide injection units to each of the casters of his pram. "See," she said to him, soothingly. "Mummy wasn't away anywhere else. Mummy was right here."

The baby smiled and took the gift. But then he said "I have Ears, you know?"

She froze. "You don't have ears, baby."

"I have Ears!" he said, stubbornly.

Wtf? How was this even possible, that he knew about ears? She got down, and hung out with him, on his personal level. "Who told you about ears, baby?" she asked.

"I know about ears," said the baby, miserably. "I know how they are such wonderful organs, how exquisite the formations are. How there are canals."

She could not do anything except nod. "Yes. They are designed really well." She looked around to see if any of the other kids had been teasing him so cruelly.

The baby pressed the nitrous oxide button his mother had just installed for him, and ran over her foot. "It's not designed!" he shouted.

Then something amazing happened. Too bad nobody caught it on tape, but there's this vision of this crazy baby on nitrous, in a pram, whizzing around the whole fucking living room and talking about evolution.

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