Friday, September 11, 2009

Baig's Top Five Ways People Should Not Start Their Damn Sentences When They Speak

5) "Well, ..."
Example: "Well, there is no way I can find an out for you."
Verdict: Well, well, well, well bloody well.

4) "Originally, ..."
Example: "Originally, we had planned for this to function like this. But we ended up making it function like that because it's simply more original."
Verdict: There is nothing original about you, or the things you do. You will never be original.

3) "Actually, ..."
Example: "Actually, it's this way."
Verdict: What, you didn't get enough with the 'Originally' part? What makes you think you know what is actual?

2) "The problem with ..."
Example: "The problem with democracy is that all of the people get to choose."
Verdict: The only problem with democracy is that you come included like batteries.

1) "Hello!"
Example: "Hello!"
Verdict: Fuck off.

No comments:

Post a Comment