Sunday, August 9, 2009

latest new thing

My latest favorite movie is "The Illusionist" by Neil Burger. It is the only reason that I have bought a Playstation 3. I mean, for getting it in Blu-Ray.

"Why do you need to watch this movie in 1080p glorious definition?" asked somebody who is too poor to purchase such a machine. "Can't you be happy with just a DVD? Why the hell do you need all of that for?"

I studied it carefully, then released my next remark: "To be honest, I had originally bought it to experience the WHOLE Blu-Ray experience. I was expecting tons of features, and maybe a commentary where Edward Norton exposes all of the things he is trying to act. All in one disc."

They began to start laughing. "So I take it this was delivered to you, then?" they said.

"Wait," I said.

"Don't raise a finger at us," they said.

I put up both hands, a normal peace sign. "Ok, wait. Look. What I am trying to say is that I have been broken by this film."


"Look, wait. Observe, carefully. I need to send my message. The whole reason I started this thread anyway."

They looked at me with impatience.

"Ok," I said. "So, when I first put the disc into the system, I instantly fell asleep."

"You fell asleep?"

"Yes, yes," I nodded quickly. "Then the movie started."

They shook their head. "What do you mean? How can you just put a disc into the system, and then the movie just begins to start? Usually they put a lot of warnings, and disclaimers."

"Ok, there was one disclaimer, and then the movie started," I said.

Everybody began to frown. "I don't get it - how can it just start like that, without any introductory menus or anything?"

I then realized the huge error I had committed. I began to withdraw.

They started to advance upon me. "You didn't even watch the whole movie, did you?" they chanted as they came.

"Shuttup! Shuttup!"

They started laughing hysterically. "You ... you came here to us, to review a film, and you never even got past the selection menu? You came to us, reviewing the movie based on the damn introduction screen?"

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