Tactile Contact in the Real World

Inspired by lspace (dot org), and all of the good times.

"When is the last time you touched something real? Like a real, paper book?" asked the Librarian.

There was a pause. Then he asked: "You mean, as though the pages are a little crispy? They are wearing a little thin, and are yellowing?"

"These are crisps, yes, of course, but," said the Librarian before realizing that she was eating crisps when food or drink was abjectly disallowed.

"You can't eat crisps in here," he told her, and then quietly went back to his Ulysses book.

The Librarian made a note about this stranger, then went back to her busy work of cataloging.

(Several weeks later)

He took his tablet to the front desk at the Library, where the Librarian was busy building her library. She did not look up at him.

"I, uh," he said, pretending to peruse studiously the libraries available on his little hand computer, "I can't find a book," he said.

After an intense stare (one of their best together, from his point of view) to study the enormity of this confession, she returned to her work. "I see. Where did you put it last, then?"

"What?"

"Your book." She sighed, and under her breath mumbled something about "Try and at least stay on the page!". Then, letting go of that breath, she stared back at him more piercingly. "You've lost a book--where did you leave it last? What was the last spatial location of this book that you can't find?"

"No bu--"

"I provide deep-regression hypnotherapy for naughty students who can't remember where they left their Library books, but it is off-hours and off-premises," said the Librarian.

His face lit up. "I could do with that," he said. "It's just," he fiddled around with his tablet, "I must have put it somewhere really obscure," he said.

"Somewhere where the sun may not shine, huh?"

He nodded. "Yes," he said, putting the tablet down. "I'm glad you didn't use the actual wording, but a modified version. 'Where Sun may not shine', rather than 'Where Sun don't shine'. Because, with the modifier, the scope of our conversation changes quite perceivably. Because Sun may actually shine! While looking at half-empty, half-full scenarios, I am somehow compelled toward the more optimistic areas. You know," and now he leaned in and remarked in whisper, "without ignoring all of the painful truths.". He then turned around and began walking away, "I will--"

"Hey!" shouted the Librarian, scaring some of the other inhabitants of the Library into small huddled bookshelf corners. "Don't forget your bloody tablet!"

"Yeah, it's not mine, I just saw it sitting around on the desk," he said, walking towards the door. "Thought I would bring it over to be at the Lost and Found." He opened the Exit door, but just before truly exiting, turned his head and said, "I will come over later to the off-premises for my deep-regression hypnotherapy." With that, he was out of the door.

"Yeah," mumbled the Librarian, getting back to her work. "You do that, buddy." The tablet made a 'ping' type of sound and was immediately flung out of the window for making too much noise in the Library.