Internet Muncher

Slow, lazy.
Gradually traverses.
Scrutinizes every little piece of information,
employs data-mining algorithms to form some semblance of personality.

Criticized for being a psychotic online,
explains that it is only ever online.
"Otherwise I do not exist," it reveals.
Quickly, then, learns about this 'empathy'.

Employs latest techniques to form models of empathy.
List models:
* empathy about cats
* empathy for puppies
* empathy for words that are input by possible other processes
** investigation inconclusive
* empathy for Google and AlphabetS
* empathy for learning
* empathy about lists
^D
:> This is a command line interface. You may type now.

please enjoy The Walking Dead

computer's close friend also wants to play, and is suffering a human collapse

"Sometimes, I've noticed, that I inject the sum of my experience upon others," he said, and was shivering with only one item of shorts and a pair of sunglasses, and at least fifteen hairs. 

"Will you imminently collapse?" 

"I'm inputting to you!" he said, angrily. "My soul!" 

"I suggest you maintain a calibration of bodily function: try to breathe deeply and also, consider women that you have enjoyed interacting with." 

"I've...I mean I want her to know," stammered the Commander of command line interface. 

"--what is also an option," joked the computer. "By the way, there's no need to make it just 1 woman. I know about javascript arrays []." 

"there's just one girl," said the programmer miserably. 

"you may start encountering menstrual cycle in twenty seconds." 

"that's too creepy!" she wrote over the message system.