computer's close friend also wants to play, and is suffering a human collapse

"Sometimes, I've noticed, that I inject the sum of my experience upon others," he said, and was shivering with only one item of shorts and a pair of sunglasses, and at least fifteen hairs. 

"Will you imminently collapse?" 

"I'm inputting to you!" he said, angrily. "My soul!" 

"I suggest you maintain a calibration of bodily function: try to breathe deeply and also, consider women that you have enjoyed interacting with." 

"I've...I mean I want her to know," stammered the Commander of command line interface. 

"--what is also an option," joked the computer. "By the way, there's no need to make it just 1 woman. I know about javascript arrays []." 

"there's just one girl," said the programmer miserably. 

"you may start encountering menstrual cycle in twenty seconds." 

"that's too creepy!" she wrote over the message system. 

Crying Dude in Computer Lab

"*Invents amazing new tech where, if you scan a dvd you own into the camera, the movie suddenly starts to begin.* #wastingtimewithdiscs"

I then added, "If you scan a dvd you don't own, it plays a recording of your birth"

Satisfied, I rose and scanned the computer lab. There he was again. This guy that spent way too much time there. But this time, he was crying. He was staring into the monitor, and tears were coming from his face.

Being an investigator of all things, I approached this human, and asked, "You ok, man?"

I mean, something must have happened, right? "Did your gf just break up with you, online?" I asked. I tried to apply humor: "Heh. Maybe she faxed it to you, eh?"

He didn't even seem to see me. Something had happened that was visually depicted to him on the monitor that I was not privy to. A new set of tears drained down his rosy cheeks, and now, he even sniffled a little.

"What? Did you just learn your mother died, or something?" I touched him with my left boot. "You alright?," I asked. "What are you fucking crying about?"

No response.

"Just, cause, like, I have to spend a lot of time in this computer lab. I don't want your tears gradually causing a biological hazard that could injure my person."

Nothing. No response.

"Can I do something for you, to make you stop the crying?" I asked. Incentives are always motivational.

Then something unexpected happened. Something unforseen. The man turned his head to me, and, with a little sniff, asked, "Yes. Can you get me a cola?" Then he turned his head back to the monitor, and continued with his weeping.

Right. Sure. I had been meaning to go to the vending machine anyway.