Haunted Parrot, Chapter 2: Re: Woody Woodpecker

Chapter 1 is here
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"You're a mean drunk," said the bird. De'Peters had been having a horrible day. All these animals were just...too much.

How the hell did she do it? Sitting there in her little house with all these little pets of hers. How did she care for them all? What was her secret recipe? These were the thoughts that had been circling his head as he sat alone in the dank storeroom at the 14th Precinct with all of the animals he had rescued. Sarge had told him that he had to sit there, make sure none of the 'witnesses' escaped. Of course, it was a very important job, and De'Peters nodded heroically. It was, perhaps, at this remarkable stance of bravery that Sarge had taken some small pity, and slipped De'Peters a pint bottle of whiskey.

This was a big event. De'Peters had not seen too much kindness in his life, so Sarge handing him the drink had been a sign that things were somehow changing. De'Peters was always tuned to this kind of phenomena. He had read a lot of books about what people call 'the subconscious realm', a realm where he could believe She-Ra truly existed, She-Ra would join forces with him, Prince Adam, and they would rule as King and Queen.

Yet, tonight was not a night to get that deep. All he had to do tonight was guard the animals until people from the groups that truly cared about them came along to rescue him. Them. They were coming to rescue the animals, not him.

"You're a 2-bit whore," said the parrot, without sympathy.

De'Peters just laughed. There wasn't anything more this bird could do to him. "Really," he said, swinging the whiskey at the bird's face, "a 2-bit whore? What else you got?"

"I know who's the murderer," said the parrot. "I know him by face, voice and smell."

De'Peters took another swig of whiskey. "Yeah, but you don't know him by touch," he mocked.

"You're a mean drunk," said the parrot.