Certain policy decisions are often made that will then continue to haunt you till the end of your life.

Like never buying that sharpie,
when you were 5.
every other kid had a sharpie
but not you, oh no.

Or never actually having an actual teddy bear that is simultaneously named Theodore and is actually a bear.

Those crayons you wanted so badly?
In a cruel twist, they'll be your birthday present,
but then you won't actually get to use them
as a punishment for you being you.

Let us not even speak of oils.

It is known that you will somehow acquire all of these
through hook or crook, it is known, very well known.
So let me put it out there that any joysticks you take possession of
any controller pad, any wii remote

would be crippled, like a, well like a cripple

with a single faulty button.